Hate Myself.
Jealousy....
Jealous - inclined to or troubled by suspicions or fears of rivalry, unfaithfulness
Why do people have the feeling of jealousy? Why do people feel jealous when their loved ones get close to the opposite sex? Why do people often wonder who are they msging? Why are there so many whysss in my mind?!!
I detest myself for having these thoughts/feelings. Its horrible, I hate it!
Told myself many times its okay and its okay and it will be okayy....However, the feeling is still there. It'll only be gone for a while? It made me have mood swing.
I wasn't like that in the past. Totally nothing of it. Nope, I did not feel jealous when he's talking to girls. Nope, I did not feel jealous when he's msging other girls. Nope, I did not feel jealous when he helped other girls. But that's all in the past. I DO feel it now...and I want it to go away so badly!
I feel so inferior.
Looking at the girls who dressed and make up so nicely, makes me feel ugly and worthless.
Thought of changing, changing in the way I behave, dress and maybe have some make up on too. However, I know its impossible. I know I cant. I just know.
I hate dressing myself up to something that I feel uncomfortable in. I hate having make up on my face. I hate acting like a beautiful girl in the public.
I just want to be myself.....
I dont want to feel inferior when I'm with you. I dont want you to have the thought "wow that one pretty leh, that one not bad."
I dont want you to have those thoughts.... It made me feel you're somebody that need someone better..
Which I really think so that way.
Saw you glancing at other girls when we're out. I know its nothing wrong or whatever. I'm not stopping you to do that, its not wrong and its childish if I really do that. But it just made me feel kind of sad. I dont know why either...
I just hate myself now.
