Its all so sudden-
Monday, January 4, 2010 11:42:00 PM
Been feeling kind of down lately.
Maybe its because of the sad news that came from my friend's family?
Sort of affected my feelings and mood?
I dont know.
I just want a new me. A new me that's not lazy, messy, childish, stubborn, irresponsible, forgetful, not contented, etc.
But a independent, self discipline, hardworking, neat, respectful, easily contented and a happy me.
I need motivation!
I need tons of them.
Can anyone lend me a hand?
Brighten up my day?
Tell me what I should do now?
I feel so bad and down now.
Inferior.
Lack of confidence.
Looking down on myself.
why?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009 10:42:00 AM
Oh no! My family computer's DOWN! ):
VIRUS ATTACKED!
Scare me to death man. hahaha Cause there's a pop up at the bottom right hand corner that said "Your computer is being attack by a remote code.....more infomation: 852 1569 4282 " (not the actual numbers)
Can you imagine?! I'm already a computer idiot and something like that pop up how can I not be scared?! What if my info in the computer are being copy or whatever?!
OMG hahahaha Couldn't sleep that night till its 3+am. Gosh, had school at 8am on the same day. Super tired eh. Wondered if I've depression at that moment. hahahah. Stoned on the computer chair and my bed. Was dead dead tired before I on my com, however, became damn damn awake after I on it! Well, I guess its time for me to change it?!?! MUAHAHAHA What a marvellous idea isn't it? Come on, I know you agree with me(:
Anyway, school's
HORRIBLE!
Quiz, tests are all coming and I'm super NOT NOT ready yet. Going to have a computer quiz this friday and I've got no idea how the program works at all. hahahah All I know is to click and click and draw nonsense. Ughhh. Next is Engineering Maths. CHIM. Lots of things to memorise. Things that are so so so different from Secondary school maths. hahahaha Okay I know I'm too old to talk about Secondary school maths now.
Random random.
My bag that darling bought spoiled! ): Heart pain to the max amorr. So expensive so nice yett.....
O'well, I'm getting another one soon! Maybe today?! hahahaha
Okays. Gotta go continue my FB games! (:Suppressing..
Thursday, November 5, 2009 12:01:00 AM
Feeling slightly better now.
Hate Myself.
Monday, November 2, 2009 11:26:00 PM
Jealousy....
Jealous - inclined to or troubled by suspicions or fears of rivalry, unfaithfulness
Why do people have the feeling of jealousy? Why do people feel jealous when their loved ones get close to the opposite sex? Why do people often wonder who are they msging? Why are there so many whysss in my mind?!!
I detest myself for having these thoughts/feelings. Its horrible, I hate it!
Told myself many times its okay and its okay and it will be okayy....However, the feeling is still there. It'll only be gone for a while? It made me have mood swing.
I wasn't like that in the past. Totally nothing of it. Nope, I did not feel jealous when he's talking to girls. Nope, I did not feel jealous when he's msging other girls. Nope, I did not feel jealous when he helped other girls. But that's all in the past. I DO feel it now...and I want it to go away so badly!
I feel so inferior.
Looking at the girls who dressed and make up so nicely, makes me feel ugly and worthless.
Thought of changing, changing in the way I behave, dress and maybe have some make up on too. However, I know its impossible. I know I cant. I just know.
I hate dressing myself up to something that I feel uncomfortable in. I hate having make up on my face. I hate acting like a beautiful girl in the public.
I just want to be myself.....
I dont want to feel inferior when I'm with you. I dont want you to have the thought "wow that one pretty leh, that one not bad."
I dont want you to have those thoughts.... It made me feel you're somebody that need someone better..
Which I really think so that way.
Saw you glancing at other girls when we're out. I know its nothing wrong or whatever. I'm not stopping you to do that, its not wrong and its childish if I really do that. But it just made me feel kind of sad. I dont know why either...
I just hate myself now.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009 12:15:00 AM
I love you(:
Happy 1year Anniversary Tan Kee Jin!
It's been so long since I last posted! Been rather busy for the past few weeks. I'm back from Thailand on the 18th of October and right on the 19th, the school started. Gosh! hahaha It was a wonderful trip tho. It's sort of like a big big present that darling gave me for the 1year anniversary! (: Thank you darling!
Eh wait! He didn't pay for the air tickets or the accomodations. I paid them myself. hahaha HOWEVER, he paid for most of the things I bought there. hahahha and food too! He's so generous to me! :D
The photos we took are still in the memory cardsss. Couldn't find time to upload it or atleast save it to the computer. Or am I just simply lazy? hahahha
Oh well, celebrated our 1year anniversary this monday, which was yesterday! Guess what?! We SKIPPED SCHOOL for the entire day. Oh please dont think we're bad kids. hahahha We did our homework on Sunday night and planned to go school the next day. However, our eyes and body or whatever just couldn't seemed to be functioning! hahahha That explained why!
Sooo....we went to watch "The Deadly Tsunami" @ AMK hub. OMG It was an Marvellous movie I must say! Touching, shocking, heart breaking.. aiya go watch it and you will know. Its a great movie. Although it's weird to watch such a sad movie on a happy day, my boy and I enjoyed it!
Went to shopped and find our friend @ Vivo. Had Ben and Jerry's ice cream and it was AWESSOOMMMEEE(:
My boy had CHERRY GARCIA and of course CHUNKY MONKEY for me! We had the greatest scoop that Ben and Jerry's staff had ever scooped. hahaha Our friend works there luh dey:D
After that, we went to Youth Park and had our mini dinner. We weren't hungry yet due to the popcorns, drinks and corn dog that we had during the movie. So we shared a plate of Pork Belly Rice. SO NICE:D But for people who're on diet, you SHOULD NOT eat any part of it! hahahaha
And here comes the wonderful romantic awesome marvellous great touching happy memorable loving last part! (:
We went to took the Singapore Flyer! We saw the many many lights that Singapore have and many many things luh. hahahaha But most importantly, darling and I took tons of photos while we're inside the capsule. Both the night scenery and us :D I enjoyed the romantic time spend with you in that capsule!
Had lots and lots of fun with you yesterday!
Sorry for the emotional times. ):
Hope you like the video and celebration yesterday!
I love you!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009 6:16:00 AM
We're at the Singapore airport now(:
Waiting for the gate to open then we can board the plane!
Excited.
Happy.
YAY!(:
Thank you darling :D
Tuesday, October 13, 2009 3:48:00 PM
ANJOKING IS FLYING TO THAILAND TMR MORNING(:
WITH TAN KEE JIN DARLING, KENNETH KHOO & QI LIN!
